Tuesday, 12 June 2012


Last week I was prescribed pregabalin, a drug that targets nerve, or "neuropathic" pain. This is intended to mask my sciatica, a condition that makes my left leg feel like there's a very long, fine saw running up and down the outside of my hip, thigh, calf and ankle. The prescription takes the total number of pills and tablets I take to 25. Every day.

I am going to photograph the tablets I take in interesting settings, and post them on Instagram, as a little insight into and record of my painful life.

Sunday, 3 June 2012

My Jubilympics thoughts

My thoughts on the Jubilee have been a little clouded until today, when I saw this tweet by Doug Segal. I think the monarchy is outdated, but with the exception of a few, they aren't bad people. I don't believe in subservience, but I strongly believe in charity, and this is where the Royals come through. During the build up to this weekend, I've been affectionately using the hashtag #jubilympics, a brilliant portmanteau used by the equally brilliant Jessica Hynes's character in the spoof Olympics documentary Twenty Twelve.

I am hugely disappointed about London 2012. Initially, as a sports fan, I was excited about the "greatest show on Earth"coming to my home city. But its lack of respect for Londoners, the people who run the city, has snubbed this excitement out. Not to mention the massive overspend, lack of achieving its aims, and over-saturation of sports-themed activities in my field of work. I'll still watch The Games, as I enjoy observing the limits and drive of the human body and spirit, to see people who have dedicated their lives to one thing.

And that is what The Queen has done. She was born into a tradition, an institution, that has been around for centuries. Her religion and her upbringing teaches that she was chosen by God to be born into this privileged life, to one day rule the waves. To condemn that is to be a little intolerant of religious beliefs, I feel. I'm no monarchist, and I believe Christianity (and other organised religion) is an ancient way to understand the world and control society that science and democracy has made irrelevant. It does have some benefits, though, particularly with regard to community and personal relationships, which I've blogged about here. The Queen exists, and judging by her robust health, she's not going away anytime soon. When she does, I hope she will be succeed by her grandson, a man who appears humble, kind and considerate, dedicated to his wife and a job that saves people's lives, making use of the skills he was fortunate enough to learn due to his high status.

As the Church has community benefits, so does the Jubilee. Look at all the communal celebrations. People from different houses in different roads with the different backgrounds and origins and ideas coming together on the streets to share food, drink and laughter. Look at all the beautiful public expressions of creativity and humour. I've particularly enjoyed @Queen_UK's live-tweeting of her Jubilee experience and the tens of comedians (professional and wannabe) on Twitter taking the piss out of Queenie and her Jubblies.

By all means roll your eyes at the naff bunting and the faux national pride. I don't think the UK deserves this pride. Its government is a farce, society is still blighted by racism and poverty, and the England football team is really pretty crap. Go have a picnic with your colleagues. Have a Republican party! The Jubilee is an excuse to get out there and have some fun in whatever way you want, and if you want, see an elderly couple who are so clearly just as in love as the day they met. Do not waste your energy on being negative, angry or upset about something you cannot change. If you want to use that energy: start a revolution.

I am very far from being a monarchist but isn't this a l... on Twitpic

on a personal tangent: i've recently had to accept that the man i adored does not want to talk to me or see me anymore. for weeks i tried to change this: i texted and called and even went to see him in places i'd knew he would be. if this sounds "crazy", well, yes: i was prescribed anti-depressants earlier this year. but as i say above, you cannot change something immovable, and now i have started to come to terms with this, i am a small bit happier. i know that he no longer has to deal with me and i expect he feels better for that, which makes me feel better. i am no longer fighting and wasting my energy on something that is futile. i stil miss him every single day of my life but at least it's now a life i want to live.